Lyrics
MOM Sam, do you remember when we used to do Girl Scouts? SAM No. MOM Sure you do. Remember? We sold those cookies to Aunt Maureen. It was all so wholesome and girly and clean. The troupe went camping and we ate canned beans, And we sewed those little patches With the cute little scenes. Remember? SAM Mom. We didn't do girl scouts. MOM But don't you wish we did? Eighteen years have come and gone. I watch her like a hawk. Eighteen years she's my whole life, And now we barely talk. I know my girl and I know her eyes. And she never runs and she never lies. There's something wrong — it's plain to see. 'Cause her head's a mess and her heart's a whirl. I know those eyes. I know my girl. And she's gonna talk to me. I made cookies. Have a cookie. Have a cookie. Have a few. And then you'll sit and talk — We'll sit and talk. You'll tell me who she's hanging out with, And who she's in a fight with, And why she isn't telling me. Has she started gambling And are you having sex yet? And is she doing LSD? I won't be discouraged. I refuse to be outdone. The game is far from over. Hell, it's only just begun. I know my girl and I know her eyes, And she never runs and she never lies. I know she's dying to let me in. But her head's a mess and her heart's a whirl. I know those eyes, I know my girl. So let the games begin. And if you need to go into the CVS for something, I could come along. I'll help you buy the something... Teach you to use the something... Do you need to go into the CVS for something… Anything... Help me. SAM What the hell's her issue? And how is it my problem? And why won't she give me a clue? Is she menopausal? Or does she wanna kill me? Would someone tell me what to do. MOM Just one cookie. Oh wait! No more cookies. You waited too long. Now the cookies are gone. Sam, you have to eat cookies While I'm still alive To make you cookies. My mother made me cookies. We would talk through the night. She made everything right. I'm so happy I ate cookies With my devoted mother, my guide. Before she died. I know my girl and she's not some fool. She won't waste her time at some fourth-rate school. I know you better than you think. Go on. Rebel. Try to break my heart. I know my girl and she's not some uneducated Greeter at the local Wal-mart.